6/29/2006
noone but me from URL @ 9:07 PM
breathe in, breathe out. i love _____ love is a word that shouldnt be thrown about. for with love, comes a passion so great, it destroys. *nods. no, im not in a sadistic mood.
i tend to think a lot when i'm alone. especially when im trying to talk to myself in tamil. in front of a mirror, in an empty house. =x
I MIGHT STAMMER;
I MIGHT STUTTER. BUT I WILL STAMMER AND STUTTER RIGHT TO THE VERY END, thank you.
6/26/2006
noone but me from URL @ 10:54 PM
i feel like sucha loser. or maybe, thats just cos i am one. - today's word-that-matters is simpleton Escapist. take note of the capital E and the full stop.
6/23/2006
noone but me from URL @ 8:48 PM
i want to search for the pot of gold at the end of a
RAINBOW!
a kid has THE right to dream.
then what happens when you grow up, i wonder. i don't know; something like reality slapping at your face more than you actually ever have the time to dream?
a sad question: whatever happened to the tooth fairy?
isnt it sad, the reality the kids have to come to face?
i managed to take a photo of a rainbow today(:
it made me happy; colours make me happy too. and i think its interesting, that it takes such simple things to make me happy. haha.
simpleton is a nice word.
6/20/2006
noone but me from URL @ 9:59 PM
i cant wait to take a much needed long and deep breath at the end of it all. but guess the catch; i dont really see that much awaited end nearing. `so, laugh. time has passed us all by again.
6/17/2006
noone but me from URL @ 10:50 PM
A hidden wave, a quiet good-bye and a silent shame; sometimes, the people you least expect are the ones who leave with the greatest impact.
6/12/2006
noone but me from URL @ 12:56 AM
U2- one love.
Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
carry each other
carry each other
One
Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I've got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love is the higher law
Love is a temple
Love is the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then
You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what
You got
When all
You've got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...One...
Can You hear us coming Lord
Can You hear us call
Feel us knocking
We're knocking at Your door
6/10/2006
noone but me from URL @ 2:18 AM
back from Thailand, Chiangmai trip.
all smiles (:
Day one
headed to sunm's house first then to the airport. the taxi driver was interesting.
met the rest there and had breakfast; our first at BK together.
next checked everything in and shopped a bit, rupini bought taboo and twister and then we boarded!
air asia is tiny (it looks like it can move under the SIA plane just that the wings would be obstructive).
suria almost hyperventilated taking off, HAHA. they all ear blocked and i was the successful medic!
well, we slept the most of the time. reached bangkok and searched ard deseperately for lunch. boarded the cute lil NOK flight next. it was tiny too, and it was a sudden culture change.
it was all thai. everything. wasnt too bad though. then took around one hour to reach chiangmai. again the sudden change. from buidlings and the faint smell of pollution to mountainous scenaries and fresh air. n
ext headed to the downtown INN, and checked in. shared a room with suria and rupini that was
opp kathleen, sunm and cheryl & next to adlin yara and nurin.
next headed to the night market to shop.
well, what can i say?
WOOHOO, perhaps.
and then, i had to do sth i've never done in my WHOLE life in the toilet.
i shant reveal that, to save someone's face. then in the night, woah entertainment la. suria was OHSOGAY in the bedroom. sosoSO gay. you wouldn't believe it as well. wacko la. rupini will put up the video soon, haha. (: it was really good entertainment. laughed hard mann. actually i still cant believe it. SOSO GAY. GAY, gosh.
Day two
suria and rupini are stoner sleepers. i heard suria's alarm go off (thought initially it was part of my dream) then snoozed it and woke up. i left it next to suria's ear. and it was ringing onandon, and she didnt wake up! rup's was ringing onandon in her ear and she didnt wake up too. finally rup awoke, and merely said "suria wake up" then suria immediately said give me a few minutes. i got a shock la. i thought she was faking sleep but she wasnt, she claims. she fell back aslp the next second -_-. but the sudden awaking reminded me shockingly of somone. soso shockingly.
next, we headed to the hmong village school/orphanage. it was up a mountain and so rather cooling. i got a shock when i saw the kids. there were 16-25 x10 of them. so ranging from 160- 250kids. SHOCK. there were a bit of changes, but it all worked out, thankfully. i was mobile and went around class to class. the kids are CUTE dammit.
scenario 1: (suria's teaching them colours)
suria: green
kids: green
suria: blue
kids:blue
suria: red
kids: red
suria: what is this? (points at a colour)
kids: what is this.
AHHAHAHAH! absolutely hilarious (:
scenario 2: i was playing monkey with the boys.
then the ball hit another boy's shirt.
but the game went on, then suddenly this boy ran and snatched the ball away.
i wanted to take the ball from him and ask him to go back, but he pointed at his friend's shirt.
it had mud stains on it. he desperately tried to wipe away the stains for his friend. then he offered him his shirt. and when i asked him for water to wash the ball, he guided me all the way there and even helped me to wash the ball. but it was a pity we couldnt carry on with the game as it was time to leave. he really taught me something, and yes it was astonishing that i could learn something from a little boy.
scenario 3: two little boys hugging each other tightly.
they were all saying that the boys were gay.
but i saw that they were clinging on to what they had; each other.
it was sad and yet warm to the heart.
yeah, and everything else. the kids playing peace by the river, mapohlek, colouring, wearing masks, doing origami, learning eng and all. i would volunteer at the orphanage again. definately! (:
then we went to an orchid farm, some plantation place and a pure silver factory. you'd be astonished at the amount of effort put into a simple ring. seriously. then headed for the khantoke dinner. sat beside kathleen and boy was she a laughing kuku. goodness, laugh onandonandon. you wouldn't believe. i dont think i've ever seen her laugh this much (except the banana day). and over a ridiculous topic at that. tsk, shhh. HAHA. yara ate till her pants burst! HAHA! oops. was nice. went shopping again!had a night party had supper and slept. forgot to ask suria to dance, hah.
Day three
this time the 2 of them didnt wake up till like half an hour to breakfast. so i did muu' style. " OI! can you all wake up or not?" woah, power la. both got up immediately. and then suria was searching for her phone and i was like " its on the table". and this is the funny part, suria was all odd and quiet in the morning, i thought it was the morning thing, but guess what? she was scared of me! AHAHHA. goodness, fancy that. she was intimidated! HAHA. okay, it was veryvery amusing to rupini and me.
then we had a super long ride to chiangrai. slpet most of the way there. but there were random times when all of us were awake and we did weird things, hah. but it was a reallyreally long ride. suria and i slept interesting-ly. on, against, aside, opp each other. there's a funny photo. reached the golden triangle and went to the market at the border of northern thailand and myanmar. wanted to take a photo but didnt have time =x
then headed to the opium museum. it was alright. we shopped again! (:
and i ditched her in the toilet, HAH! then we had to pack up and do our reflections. it took a lot of time. next door came over, and adlin started farting =x on MY bed. they did their reflections and went back to sleep. sth happened before that, and their whole room screamed! haha, sorry i scared you all (:
Day four
rupini sat up in bed and touched me saying "what time is it?" and it was really bright. then i was like shit we're late. i asked her to check the time and it was 720! we were supposed to be down at 730. then i started shaking suria to wake up (but she didnt, duh) then i so wanted to yell ( to scare her again, hah) but then rupini said " its sg time la. 620 thai time". sheesh, we went back to bed. woke up at 7 to knocks at the door. sunm wanted to take photos in our night gowns, hah.
anyway, packed up took photos and headed to lacquerware factory, thai silk factory and the umbrella factory. it was alright. it was their handicrafts, artisitc talents and patience that impressed me. REALLY GOOD.
then finally went to the orphanage. it had 49 kids from 18 mths- 6 yrs old. we didnt handle those younger that were still babies, literally. only the teachers fed them milk! we split and i went to the 1-3 year old group. we were supposed to do colouring, HAH. they didnt want to colour la. more interested in eating. oh well, chocho was my kid but he poopooed and had to go. sad. so i took biscuits and went around feeding all the babies.sarah samsul's jackjack ate my finger together with my biscuit! haha.
then i stole yara's kid cos she went to the toilet. darn adorable! x) she was interested in eating la. then she started taking everything and putting it inbetween her legs, including the pen in my hand. so i covered my face and pretended to cry. i bawled loudly, and watched her. her face changed, her eyes too. they looked scared, sad, worried. ( how the truth speaks when they say that your eyes betray your inmost emotions) then she touched my hand and gave me the pecil. i wanted to hug her okay! so sweet of her. then we packed the things up together. i taught her how to cap markers, but she was more interested in chucking everything in so i helped her. it was really sad leaving them. howells.
then we headed to the airport. the plane trip was boring and i started to go a bit off. haha, you dont need to know. rup and i were bored so we went to the toilet. kath and i were bored so we went to the toilet. and they were playing poker cards! we took photos and they threatened to confiscate the camera. ahah, i mean come on la. the teacher ic of PCs and part teacher of PSLs.
(: then we started to land, and suria almost hyper ventilated again. then we exit-ed by the rear door. DARN COOL! we all went down the stairs and faster stood near the plane and took a photo next to the plane! ahha. then we ran and catched up with the rest.
and so our holiday came to an end. we checked out, got out luggage, got comments from the teachers, took photos and said our farewells and BYEBYE.
homesweethome.
i've learnt a couple of things, trust me on that.
i've seen people the way they've never been before. ( suria's gayness, kath's laughing-ness)
i've strenghthened my friendship with certain individuals. things have changed, you have i have, but our friendship hasn't. and im thankful for that. i'll keep it strong (: i will.
we've bonded a bit more i think?
i dont know. but thats cos, no matter what anyone says, we can feel it for ourselves.
we're already bonded and one. and it feels good. (:
CHARLIE 06, thanks for the nice trip.
im glad i went.
for those who didnt, we got you all sth! (:
picts will be up soon, but i dont have many cos my camera died on me on the night of day 2 :(
GOODMORNING!
6/04/2006
noone but me from URL @ 10:22 PM
TAY ZHIYUN and all other dancers;
heyhey, best of luck for your dance competition!
all of you can dance, (ESP HANDSOME! x) and so SHAKE IT yeah?
go there and do your thing, i mean you all got GOLD for syf!
thats sth, and if you did it once, you can do it again right?
besides, you all have put in a looot of effort. dancing away for hours.
its going to pay off!
and if you get whole body aches, zy
i'll massage you when i get back okay. ahah, dont worry (:
yeah, anyway, remember to have fun as well.
you all had fun doing your costumes and stuff right;
have fun dancing as well, cos its your PASSION!
yeah, so just give it your all.
YOU ALL CAN DO IT! JIAYOU!
i'll pray for you guys the night before.
GOOD LUCK handsome! (:
take care as well!
aaand, as i had promised her,
I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND! x)
sth only suria and i know(: joke btw, if anyone ever finds out.
6/02/2006
noone but me from URL @ 11:58 PM
"Heal our wounds, our strength renew On our dryness pour your dew Wash the stains of guilt away Bend the stubborn heart and will Melt the frozen, warm the chill Guide the steps that go astray" Amen. i leave it all in His hands.
noone but me from URL @ 5:29 PM
take it in your stride, baby take it in your stride. If I were you Holding the world right in my hands The first thing I'd do Is thank the stars above Tell the ones I love Take a breath and enjoy the view Live the life that I wanted to If I were you
If I were you If I were you!
suddenly im freaking scared for my tamil Os. i cant seem to read properly. i dont understand so many words. i cant even talk in tamil, damn it. cry for me/ with me if you must. just don't say you understand.
noone but me from URL @ 1:57 AM
i realise that you mean so much to me.
so much more than i ever knew you did;
so much more than you'll ever know you do.
and boy how the truth speaks when you only realise such things
in times of desperation.
how those tears fell the way i never thought they would.
how you made me tremble when i never thought i could.
and i realise, that unguardedly i've let you into my walls.
unguardedly i've come to trust you.
and so the thought of you, ever leaving scared me.
you haven't let me down,
i dont think you will.
but im sorry, im withdrawing.
i cannot trust nomore.
i cannot be so scared nomore.
only He knows.
but that dont mean you dont mean nothing to me.
like i said, you mean so much more than you'll ever know;
yeah, to me you still will.
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